Why It’s Not Too Late to Tame Your Inner Critic

“This is just who I am”,  “ I will always feel this way”, and “My inner critic is too loud, there is no hope”. Sound familiar? Don’t believe these lies that your critic wants you to believe. Let’s get into how to start to say goodbye to that unhelpful inner critic.

It’s funny how your inner critic makes you believe these lies. It wants to cling and stick around, and as crazy as it seems, it wants to protect you and keep you safe. Maybe from experiencing a hurt you have had in the past over again, from rejection, from embarrassment, from the feeling of fear and vulnerability. And as much as you try to get away from it,  there it is, rearing its head in small ways. Judging your decisions, your next right move, your responses, your worth, and anything it can attach itself to. It can feel like a fake friend, whose close but just makes you feel bad about yourself.

Your inner critic may be new or it may be years in the making, with roots as far back as your childhood. What your parents said to you, how your friends treated you, the things that others told you about who you are, are all rooted in our pasts. The more you hear the same negative feedback over and over again, the more this voice becomes not something coming from the outside but has been transformed into your own internal voice, your own inner critic and judge. And you believe her, when she says you're not good enough, not capable, that people don’t like you, that you’re weird, or that you don’t belong. 

And so(whether you are conscious of this or not), you look for all the reasons why she is right. Such and such didn’t speak to me when they walked past, I made a mistake, they didn’t invite me, see what she is saying is true, I’m not enough and people don’t like me. 

It is a hell only you experience and only you can fully understand. You don’t even know what breaking the chains of this nasty relationship would look like. You wonder, is it even possible.

Living with an inner critic no matter how ingrained she is, is possible to change and I’ll give you a few tips on how to tame your inner critic below:

Start talking back to your inner critic

She isn’t always right! And you can believe every word out of her mouth. You wouldn’t believe everything someone else tells you and I want you to have the same attitude towards her. When she comes in, think of all the reasons why she might be wrong. What information might be missing or that she isn’t looking at? What would be the complete opposite? How might believing the opposite make a difference for you? Not only in how you feel about yourself but in how you act and feel in the situation. Make it a habit of disproving what she is telling you, never take anything at face value.

Train your mind to look for the good

If you have a strong inner critic chances are your mind feels like a big, dark cloud that sees mostly the negative yourself and situations. Your inner critic has not only taken over your self-talk but also creates this negative filter that you bring to the everyday. So I challenge you to every day take a picture of one thing that brings you joy, makes you happy, or brings you a sense of peace and calm. Or if you prefer not to take pictures, think about the top three things you experienced that day. Over time, your mind will begin took at the positive and negative, to have a more balanced and calm mind.

Thank her

I know, I know why in the heck would you thank something or someone who is inflicting so much mental pain and anguish? As I mentioned in the beginning, your inner critic is really trying to protect you in some shape or form. Its purpose is to keep you safe. So, thank her. Thank her for her service and for trying to keep you safe all these years and tell her you no longer need her. Let her know in each moment that she comes up that,” I am safe, don’t need protection, I can handle it”. And you can. As your mind begins to believe that, the more she will back off. 

The more you fuel your inner critic the stronger it becomes. Whether you have internalized a voice or a critique from someone else or your inner critic feels like it has been an unwelcome guest for years, you can overcome it. The way you feel about yourself and your inner critic are habits of thinking that have been formed and reinforced over several years. If you can learn it, you can unlearn it. It will take time, but it is possible to have a healthy relationship with yourself and a calm and supportive mind. 

If you’re ready to finally tame your inner critic and have the mental peace that you want, sign up for my email to receive more tips on building your self-esteem and taming your inner critic.

To finally tame your inner critic, have a calm mind, and feel more in control not only of yourself but also of your life begins with small changes. Your inner critic will constantly get in the way and be that nag that you can’t get rid of until you finally decide. Decide that you want more, for yourself and your mind. I want you to have the peace and calm that you only dream of. Start talking to yourself more kindly, be your own best friend, and I promise you, with these small changes in how you think, your whole world will begin to change. 

Bye bye inner critic, you are no longer serving us.