Stop Caring What People Think Series: Part 2: Taking Your Power Back

Welcome back to the How to Stop Caring What People Think series. I’m hoping that by the end of this series, you will care just a tad bit less about what people think than how much you care today. In this post I’m going to ask you some very direct and pointed questions, with love of course, to get you thinking. 

If you read about my fictional character Molly in the previous post, then you know she cares a lot about what others think. You may even see some of yourself in Molly and may have been struggling with this same thing for some time. Even if that is the case, I’m glad you’re here because that means that you want to do something about it. 

So I want to ask you, who benefits from you caring what others think? Who is hurt by this? What has been the impact on you? By caring around this shame and heaviness, this pressure to please others, for them to like you, approve of you or your choices, who benefits? I’ll give you a second to really think about it….

Don’t continue reading until you’ve really thought about it…

I’m serious lol…

Ok got it? What did you come up with? You’ve probably come to realize that either no one benefits, maybe you feel like that by caring what people think it helps you, maybe it helps you feel likable and maintain relationships, or maybe you may have realized that other people benefit, by putting them and their opinions in a place of power and authority. Whatever the case, I want to redirect to you. How do you feel about yourself when you care so deeply about what someone thinks, maybe to the detriment of your own thoughts and opinions? I can bet it doesn’t feel very good. Understandably so. I want you to have the peace, ease, and joy that you want. How does caring so much impact you and move you away from your goals and peace?

Quick pause: if you recognize that these questions are too difficult or emotional for you to answer or maybe you don’t know the answers or want to dig deeper, guidance from a self-esteem therapist may be helpful. 

Ok…Onward…

So one of the first steps to break this habit is to think about who and what matters to you.

Whose opinion is worth listening to? How can we bring your opinion, thoughts, and what you think into the mix instead of minimizing them? Not everyone in your life or the people you meet or encounter day to day has earned the right for their opinion to be taken into consideration by you. Once you can get clear on who is worth listening to, then the opinions of others will kind of roll off your back. You’ll see them and acknowledge them but they won't hold any weight. And when you hear your own inner voice or the voice of someone who you’ve deemed worthy, you will take notice, still knowing that in the end, you have the final say and your opinion holds the greatest weight.

Something for you to practice, when someone says something or you find yourself wanting to please or gain someone’s approval, think to yourself. “Have they earned this right?”.

See you next post…

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